Family Structure
At the head of Roman family life was the Paterfamilias: the oldest living male in a family, who was absolute ruler of the household. By Roman law, a father wielded absolute control over his children. Those who displeased him could be disowned, sold into slavery, or even killed. He would perform certain religious rites on behalf of his family, and oversee the family business and property.
Only the paterfamilias could own property in a family. His sons — regardless of age — would receive an allowance (peliculum) to use in maintaining their own households. The continuance of family names was extremely important, and families without sons could adopt one, often a nephew, so the family line would not die out.
Judith Hallett: Rome is definitely a patriarchal society. The operative political and legal unit was the family headed by the eldest man. But because the family was such an important unit and because family membership by blood meant so much, women were extraordinarily important within the Roman family. They could not vote. They could not hold office. They obviously were not involved in the same type of military exploits as men; but within the family circle, they were not only expected to transmit, but also to display the same qualities that would secure public prominence for their men folk.
Fathers also had the right to decide whether to keep or expose their newborn babies. The midwife placed babies on the ground, and only when the paterfamilias picked it up was the baby formally accepted into the family. Exposure — the deliberate abandonment of an infant to the elements — was practiced on obviously deformed infants, or when the father felt the family could not support another child. While much has been made of this seemingly cruel Roman custom, it was assumed that these babies did not die, but were picked up and taken as slaves.
Richard Saller: With child exposure the first thing to do is make a distinction between exposure and infanticide. Romans who had babies that they couldn't support and didn't want to raise would have set them out in an appointed place where passersby could pick them up if they wanted to. Why did they do it? Well because they had no predictable form of birth control. Having the right size family has been a problem through the ages... For poor families the problem was matching their resources to the size of their family. And so the exposure of a newborn in some cases was a kind of calculated form of love for the rest of the family.
The Materfamilias was usually much younger than her husband. Roman women generally married in their early teens, but men waited until their mid-twenties. It was understood that the wife oversaw the management of the household, and — in the higher classes — was expected to behave modestly, move gracefully, and to conduct herself in a manner which would reflect well on her husband and family.
An unwed Roman woman was either in patria potestas — under the protection of her father — or sui iuris — independent. In Rome's early years the wife, and her property, became in manus — under the protection and rule of her husband — upon marriage, but by the time of the empire the manus was obsolete, and a woman retained whatever status and property she had prior to marriage.
Because so many children died at a young age — sadly, 25 percent of babies in that era did not survive their first year, and perhaps half didn't live to age 10 — there were legal rewards offered to women for successful childbearing. Under Augustus, women in patria potestas could enter into binding legal agreements without a male representative only after they had borne three live children (four for freedwomen). Wedding Customs
Marriage in Roman times was not often a romantic affair, but a personal agreement between families. As sons reached their mid-twenties, and daughters their early teens, spouses were chosen by their parents — in consultation with friends — with an eye towards improving the family's financial position or class.
Alfredo Foglia
The betrothal was formal ceremony between the two families where gifts were exchanged, the dowry was agreed upon, an agreement was signed, and the deal sealed with a kiss. The actual wedding date was chosen carefully. Although June was the preferred month, weddings took place throughout the year.
On the wedding day, the groom would lead a procession to his bride's family home. Bridesmaids would escort the bride to meet her groom. She would be wearing a tunica recta — a white woven tunic — belted with an elaborate "Knot of Hercules," elaborately arranged hair, an orange wedding veil, and orange shoes. Following the signing of the marriage contract, there was a great marriage feast. The day ended with a noisy procession to the couple's new home, where the bride was carried over threshold so she wouldn't trip — an especially bad omen.
Marriage and Divorce Laws
Once the families had agreed upon the date of wedding and the financial terms, the marriage itself was a mere formality to prove the couple's intention to live together — their affectio maritalis. It was in fact not a binding legal agreement, but rather a personal agreement between the bride and groom.
More formal divorce procedures were introduced during Augustus' reign.
Despite that fact, there were specific laws that governed the institution of marriage. A true Roman marriage could not take place unless both bride and groom were Roman citizens, or had been granted conubium — permission to enter into a Roman marriage. In early Rome, citizens had been forbidden to marry freedmen or freedwomen; Augustus' lex Julia in 18-17 BC limited this restriction to Senators.
Augustus also forbade the remarriage of an adultress, the marriage of a citizen to a prostitute or actress, intermarriage between a provincial official and a local woman, the marriage of soldiers in certain circumstances, and marriages within certain degrees of blood relationships.
Judith Hallett: Augustus' moral and marriage legislation does not necessarily reflect any Puritanical agenda on his part. These laws were aimed at Rome's wealthiest citizens and represent an effort to get these people to marry and to multiply so that their resources would be spread among several different heirs and they will not prove the kind of political threat that could over turn his power.
Divorce
Because marriage was not a binding legal agreement, but simply a declaration of intent to live together, Roman divorce was simply a declaration of intent not to live together. All that was required under Augustan law was a declaration before seven witnesses of the desire to divorce. Because of the ease of dissolution, divorce was common, at least among the upper echelons of Roman society.
Upon divorce, the wife was entitled to the full return of her dowry, and returned to the patria potestas — family protection — of her father. If she had been independent of her father prior to marriage, she would regain her independence upon divorce. Roman law did not recognize adultery by husbands, but under Augustus' lex Julia of 18 BC a wife found guilty of adultery in a special court known as the quaestio might forfeit the return of half her dowry.
